Pondering and Thinking

After I had my melt down a few months ago, Sharon called to encourage me and give me some love.

In her message, she suggested that I look into gastric band (aka LAP-Band) surgery.  They laprascopically put a band around the upper part of the stomach, making a small pouch that sends a signal to your brain that you are full much earlier and therefore you eat less.

I went to the information session at the Vanderbilt Surgical Weight Loss Center.  My very first thought when I walked in was, aside from the staff, I was probably the healthiest person in the room.  I immediately gave thanks to God for His healing power and grace that has kept me healthy despite my overwhelming need for chocolate.

There were some really sick people… and for those people, surgery was likely the only way they would be able to live beyond another year or two.  Pacemakers, diabetes, heart problems, sleep apnea.  One person was brought in via wheelchair.

My heart broke for these people.  Like me, I bet they have tried every diet known to man and maybe even made up their own.  Sure, I’ve been responsible for my own bad choices.  I admit that.  When I made the right choices, the weight dropped off.  When I didn’t (as has been the case for the last 1 and a half years), I’ve put most of it back on.

I still don’t know about surgery.  I’m praying about it.  It’s one of those things that if I didn’t tell you, you would likely never know… the only clue being how slow I eat and the small bites taken.

I’m vain… I don’t want any scars on my belly.  They said the port for the band (to adjust the size) goes in the abdominal wall.  Will that be affected by belly rolls or pilates, neither of which I’m willing to give up?

When I went to see my primary care physician last month, I asked him about it and then I started crying.  He said that any of the weight loss surgery is a tool; that the patients still have to eat right and exercise or else it is largely pointless.  Having the surgery doesn’t mean someone is a failure which is how I feel about it.  He was very kind and supportative of any decision I would make… which is good.


One comment

  1. Colin Timberlake · January 22, 2009

    Hang in there. Keep up the good work with the blog.

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