Love Story

Today is Valentine’s Day. It is a day for chocolates, cards, flowers, expressions of love, and all other manner of fuss.

Being an intensely practical person (especially as I’ve gotten older and buy my own stuff), gifts don’t matter to me much. I recently took the 5 Love Languages quiz and was a bit surprised by the result. I thought the dominant love language would be Words of Affirmation (8 out of 12) but mine turned out to be Quality Time – with 11 out of 12 points. Does this get you out of buying me a birthday present? No.

I can’t recall a Valentines where I celebrated it with a Significant Other. I intensely disliked celebrating it in school because it was a major popularity contest where if it weren’t mandated that everyone had to give everyone in the class a card, I would have received few. See poor Ralph from The Simpsons

Ralph’s Valentines

I’m also not one for Romantic Comedies because I think they are even more unrealistic than science fiction. I can count on one hand the number of romantic comedies I’ve enjoyed – more for the comedy rather than the romance.

All of that to say, I don’t mark it as “Single Awareness Day” and I don’t deliberately try to rain on couples who are posting love notes to each other (or how they met) on facebook. I love hearing how people met because it connects me to them as people – my friends.

I love celebrating that with you. I would only ask that you not speak down to me or say “I’m sorry.” I’m not.

Since this is Empire Haz a TARDIS, I’m going to list a few of my favorite Science Fiction couples:

  • Amelia Pond and Rory Williams. Or as The Eleventh Doctor calls them – The Ponds even though they are the Williams. I didn’t care for the way Amelia would just leap over Rory at the beck and call of the Doctor but when they separated, it broke my heart and their confession of love for one another in “Asylum of the Daleks” makes me cry every time I watch it. When she chose Rory over the Doctor in “The Angels Take Manhattan ” all I could finally was say was “she got it right.”
  • Mal and Inara. It is clear from the get go that there is sexual tension. He’s jealous; he knows he can’t ‘compete’ with the clients from her world. She’s mystified by him in that he is probably the one man she’s come across who hasn’t tried to court her (even in the ritualistic Companion sense) and that he stays behind his walls. When he sleeps with Nandi in “Heart of Gold,” Inara puts on a good front that she isn’t bothered by it but she is crushed (as we see later when she sobs.) Nandi saw right through the front and to protect herself from disappointment, Inara runs… again… leaving Serenity. Her first time to run was setting out on the boat in the first place, running to hide because of her terminal illness (sorry – this blog is always full of spoilers.) Of the two, I tend to think Inara is the more messed up because she has been taught NOT to form attachments (only to give the appearance of one) and when presented with an opportunity, she doesn’t know how to handle it. Mal has his own set of issues (judgmental, angry), too. I would love to know more about their story post-Serenity. 
  • Han and Leia. This wouldn’t be my list if it didn’t have this couple on it. “I love you.” “I know.” “There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.” “I happen to like nice men.” “I’m a nice man.” I haven’t read any of the extended universe books to see how their lives turn out post-Return of the Jedi but Han is just awesome.

Reading Is Fundamental


Most of that article and the comments were a high-level of stupid. There are always going to be people who put on airs about liking a particular thing – Star Wars, anime, basketball – but aren’t hobbyists. Should we demean their passing interest? No.

You were a newb at one time, too. Show a little kindness, respect and appreciate people for who and where they are. Just because someone isn’t a huge fan now doesn’t mean that at a later date they won’t grow into liking it later.

I had a similar experience with Doctor Who. For my friend Beth’s birthday, I agreed to watch several episodes because she is a fan. I took an instant dislike to Rose but thought the Ninth Doctor was OK. I watched those episodes and moved on.

Several months later, I saw a couple of BBC America specials on Doctor Who – locations, women of Doctor Who, science of Doctor Who, and villains. It gave me the overview of the series. Then there was the Eleventh Doctor marathon. Matt Smith is adorable as the Doctor, and I was hooked.

Will I love Doctor Who as much as I love Firefly? Eh. Probably not. It’s all good though. Just because someone doesn’t love that thing you love as much as you do doesn’t make them a bad person – just different.

I just realized that most of the posts on this blog thus far center on a ‘being different is ok’ theme. Perhaps I’m trying to re-assure myself of that.

Big Bang Theory – Star Trek Style

A few weeks back, Big Bang Theory had an episode where the guys get dressed up in their Star Trek uniforms and head to a convention (The Bakersfield Expedition – CBS video or the BBT wiki).

To summarize, the guys spend the episode getting their costumes ready for the Bakersfield Comic-Con. On the way the car was stolen and someone throws trash on them. After a long walk, they arrive at a diner, defeated and broke, this conversation takes place:

Raj: Great. We can still make it to Comic-Con.
Leonard: Are you kidding me? After all we’ve been through, I just want to go home.
Raj: Don’t be like that. Come on, Howard, talk to him.
Howard: I’m with Leonard. I’m done.
Raj: Fine, then I guess it’s two against two. How do we decide?
Sheldon: Actually, it’s three against one.
Raj: What? What about the mission? You said we were a real-life landing party.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, we’re not. We’re an imaginary landing party who had real-life garbage thrown at us by real-life strangers who think we’re idiots. And to tell you the truth, I’m starting to feel like one. I want to go home now.
Raj: Okay. Can we at least rent the car from Enterprise? Get it? Enterprise? (Nobody reacts) Screw you. That’s funny.

Sheldon’s reaction broke my heart. There are occasions when we need our friends and family to provide checks to our wacky notions and bring us back to reality. But should those be at the expense of what is fun and what brings us pleasure – even if it isn’t going to be our profession?

Jon Acuff tells the story of a woman who when she was young she loved to dance. Her mom said “you know you’re never going to be a Rockette, right?” And with that sentence, the girl quit dancing. I’m not sure if it is something she took up again later in life but the joy it brought to her as a little girl was stolen forever.

How many of us had our joy robbed from us in that way? How have we done that to other people? In the case of what happened in the BBT, I wanted to scream at the garbage chuckers “RIGHT! So your obsession over football is OK but theirs with Star Trek isn’t?! *expletive expletive*” I’ve never understood why it’s ok for people to deck their homes out floorboards to rafters in stuff from their favorite sports team but when someone wants to re-create the TARDIS, they are crazy and socially unacceptable.

Doctor Who is cool. And so are bow ties. And fezzes.

Fortunately, it is better today than it used to be but it is far from perfect. The Internet gives fans a safe place (most of the time – there are those within fandoms who are still jerks and can ruin it) to connect with one another and say “You aren’t alone.”

“Your creativity is OK.”


It is unfortunate that the Real World has yet to catch up with our awesomeness. Maybe. Eventually. I doubt it. Just remember – you’re awesome just the way you are. Be yourself.

Unless you can be Batman or Boba Fett… heh.


I wouldn’t call him my friend. Acquaintance (really – was it that hard to spell this word? I had to misspell it in Google to get there because spellcheck in WordPress gave  up.)?  Someone that I kinda know.

I’ve known of Jon Acuff for years. I followed Stuff Christians Like before it was cool. I’ve got all the books – some of them even signed. He tweeted about my mission trip to India last year to help me raise funds – but this was trading on the fact that we also knew each other in real life because his daughter was in my Sunday School class. (Yeah.. that blog has kinda fallen by the wayside…. *guilty look*)

I’ve learned a lot from Jon. I know the 5 stages of the V-neck t-shirt and can readily spot them on the street. And the Hipster worship leader? I also cannot help but think of bringing someone a cake every time I halfway raise my arms in praise at church. But over the years, he has moved from just telling funny stories but using them to inspire people to pursue their own dreams.

To Quit. But not being stupid about it. If you are going to quit, you need a plan.

And now – to Start.

I’m guilty of this as much as anyone else. It is so easy to be average and coast along. Is everything hunky-dorey? The bills are paid and food in the fridge. There is a kitteh on my lap and another asleep on the AV receiver because that is where the warms are. Life is good.

But is it?

For the longest time, it gnawed at me. Things are ok but isn’t there something more? Am I meant for more than this? 1000 sermons preached every New Year tell you “Yes – you are meant for more.”

And probably like me you stare back and go “So how in the world do I get there? Telling me I’m destined for awesome is fine… but I have no idea how to get there.”

In Quitter, Jon talks about finding what you love to do is an act of rediscovery. To often, we think that finding what we want/love to do is supposed to be this big thing. But it usually rediscovering that love of something you used to do. For me, it is dance and writing. I love dance. Much like Firefly, I can wear people out talking about dance. I will tell you stuff about dance that will never show up on Jeopardy. And the same with Firefly. In fact, I have been warned by a friend of mine that if I get into Doctor Who the same way I am into Firefly, she will come over and rip out my Uverse box and take away my TV.

The other is writing. I wrote my first books when I learned out to write. When I moved out my old house several years ago, I found one that I wrote in the 5th grade about my classmates and an oddly shaped school building that needed to be propped up by ladders (we were in portables that year… maybe that had an influence on it).

To that end, I started blogging back before blogging was cool. But then life got in the way and it became a chore, especially to focus on trackbacks and readers and visiting people. AHH! Too much work! Now, I want to write what entertains me. Hopefully, other people will enjoy it, too. [Edit to add that I like writing mostly because I love telling stories. I LOVE… LOVE telling stories.]

As an aside, I am splitting my writing time between here and Stuff Heard on the Bus.

I’m ready to stop being average and Start being awesome. If you pre-order through the site,  you get a ton of cool free stuff. Just sayin’.

As Yoda would say, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” So punch fear in the face!