Fear is a four letter word

Day 4 of the Single Woman’s Blogging Challenge

Your biggest fear as a single person.

My biggest fear as a single person is dying alone. You know the story – someone dies in their house and isn’t found until it stinks and when they do, their cats have gnawed half their body.

Maybe a slight exaggeration…

But the fear is real. It was something I had to confront when we found my dad. No one had heard from him in 3 days, which was really unusual. So I went to his shop and my brother went to his house. My brother found him in his bedroom. According to the coroner and police investigator, he had a heart attack sometime on Sunday and had rolled off the bed, hitting his head on the dresser while trying to grab the phone to call 911. We found him on a Wednesday.

I had to stare my fear in the face.

What did he think about?

How scared was he?

How alone did he feel?

How much did he hurt?

I am terrified of dying alone.

From “Out of Gas” – Firefly…

Inara Serra: You don’t have to die alone, Mal

Mal Alone

On one level, that is true. We go through the experience of death by ourselves. I imagine it is like being ushered to the door but only you can go through. No one can go with you. You can’t bring anyone to support you. You have to leave them behind.

I know as a Christian I shouldn’t fear death as on the other side, we are reborn to a joyous life with Christ. But this particular fear is probably the ultimate realization of the fact that I fear that I will be alone my entire life.

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2 comments

  1. bridjview · October 7, 2013

    it is said that when a man dies we should rejoice and when a baby is born we should cry. but we do it the other way a round not that we really choose to but it are human. sad that we dies alone, you can only hope he was as peace, may you fine peace as well and you fear comforted

    • Jonnelle · October 8, 2013

      Thank you for the encouragement 🙂

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